American Dad Feed the Chicken Episode

Photos

Quotes

• Roger the Alien : [after a hallucinogenic meal] I just don't have the words for it. Schmooblydong. Is that a word?

• Roger the Alien : Don't cry... in front of the fish.

• Roger the Alien : Oh, Staniel!

• Roger the Alien : Oh, Franiel!

• Roger the Alien : [Steve has an electric guitar. Roger has an Octopus, an abacus and a hairdryer] Your thing looks more interesting

  [throws his stuff away]

• Stan Smith : You brought Fat into our house!

• Football Legend : Stan, I thought the CIA was done with me! I still have the headaches and the nightmares! What happened in Munich? Who did I kill?

  Stan Smith : No, I'm not here about that. It's my kid's birthday!

• Roger the Alien : What is this and how can I replace my Blood with it?

• Nebraska Kid : Ooh! I love babies! Jesus was a Baby!

  Stan Smith : Yes, he was also a murder victim.

• [repeated line]

  Stan Smith : OOH!

• Gay Neighbour : Women don't ask for much, do they?

  Stan Smith : No, just don't pee in the shower on her birthday, and you're good to go.

• Stan Smith : Paperclips? Paperclops? Popperclops! Pops that Clop your Poppers!

• Stan Smith : [to George W Bush] Is it true that you can make Tony Blair do anything you want? Like if you said he had to eat a bug, he'd eat it even if it had lots of legs?

• Stan Smith : It's High School, Steve, it doesn't matter.

  Steve Smith : You said that last time, when's it start to matter?

  Stan Smith : Never.

• Stan Smith : [CIA awards] But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my gym teacher Mr Raglan, who taught me everything I know about seduction!

• Roger the Alien : [can't roll an oreo from his navel into his mouth] Dammit!

• Roger the Alien : Tam, I gotta go, the Boss is being a real Catch you Next Tuesday...

• Stan Smith : These rocks will make a fine raft!

• Roger the Alien : Floor Spaghetti!

  Francine Smith : Floor Spaghetti?

  Roger the Alien : [Floor Spaghetti] Floor Spaghetti.

• Stan Smith : [to Sexpun T'come] I'm going over to the Juice Bar. You wouldn't like it, it's not about reliving childhood trauma it's all positive and about Juice.

• Klaus : Am I early for Book Club?

  Roger the Alien : No! You're late! And that's two weeks in a row! You're out!

  Klaus : I didn't read it anyway...

• Roger the Alien : Behind the wheel of every taxi is a sad confused person who lost a bet they didn't understand.

• Stan Smith : [Gatecrashing Heaven] We're Mormons! We were born dead!

• Roger the Alien : [Old Lady scattering ashes] Thank you Umar, thank you for showing me I can go on without you! I know what you did to our kids you bastard! Ha! Why can't I leave things nice?

  [credits]

• Roger the Alien : [Chinese Restaurant Owner] You Bicyqwuall Delivery Boy!

• Roger the Alien : Let's turn this Country around. Let's make things again.

• Stan Smith : So what? We shoot each other, that's how we communicate in this Family.

• Stan Smith : [convoluted escape ploy] Look at me! I got my son's ass in the window, my Alien's Dick in the Gas Tank and nothing but the open road in front of me!

  [Service Station]

  Stan Smith : And here comes God with the Cherry On Top, let's celebrate!

• Stan Smith : A Doctor is just a failed Dentist.

• Roger the Alien : You are resisting my lessons! Now I must slumber, and dream of Spatchcocking T-Rexes with my Childhood Friend, Jean-Baptiste.

• Roger the Alien : What the fuck is a Hufflepuff?

• Angelic Lady Lawyer : We disagree!

  Stan Smith : That's it?

• Roger the Alien : Why are you telling me this?

  Doctor : Because I'm a Doctor! I'm all about the moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney

  [jazz hands]

  Doctor : Money!

• Roger the Alien : I am not losing my Edge!

  Steve Smith : I don't know. You were Ricky Spanish for one week, and all you did was quietly rate Films on IMDB...

• Stan Smith : [meekly, to a waiter] Hey, could you take away this crap and bring me a real drink before I shoot you in front of all these drunk people?

• Roger the Alien : That's it! It's not a real party until somebody dies!

• Roger the Alien : In a Time of Chimpanzees I was a Monkey!

  Stan Smith : What?

• Roger the Alien : Can a Brother get a "Run Roger!"? Damn it! Got to be all self-runnin' and whatnot...

• Stan Smith : We need to have a talk about point of view. Every villain is the hero of his own cinnamon apple monkey toaster.

• Stan Smith : No-one needs America's Help, until they need it!

• Roger the Alien : You poached my Bear!

• Stan Smith : Son if you ever want to crawl your way out of this Geek Swamp, you're going to have to log some Face Time with the Cool Kids.

• Roger the Alien : Do not fear me, pretty one, though my outward appearance may repulse thee I assure you my intentions are most pure.

• Roger the Alien : Have you read The Tipping Point? I haven't. Perhaps it applies.

• Stan Smith : I want you to come home, Francine, Greg won't stop being snarky!

• Stan Smith : [to a fat kid] God I want to hit you!

• Stan Smith : Klaus, just be glad you're alone with no family.

• Roger the Alien : Is there anything more terrifying than a hovering Blimp!

• Stan Smith : Got to get worse before it gets better.

• Roger the Alien : Who will feed the Chinchillas?

• Roger the Alien : As a Married Woman, here are your choices for Best Friend: Fat Woman, Cat, Gay Guy, Food...

• Stan Smith : Feed the Chicken!

• Roger the Alien : They said I'd never be good enough for Television! How do you like me now, Voices in my Head?

  [pause]

  Roger the Alien : There's no pleasing you guys!

• Stan Smith : You know what the best part of my Day is? The five seconds after I wake up, before I remember who I am.

• Roger the Alien : You know, it takes Courage to tell a joke to a group of strangers.

• Roger the Alien : [to Hayley] Oh, you dear sweet Man-faced Girl...

• Frat Dude : Great Party Roger! Woo!

  Roger the Alien : Aw, people have been spitting on your cracker and calling it cream cheese all your life, haven't they? No, we haven't achieved greatness yet...

• Roger the Alien : [Muslim at the Airport] I can laugh at that, but you can't or they won't let you on the Plane. It's sad, but that's the World we live in now.

• Roger the Alien : Steve, here's your copy of neglected child Monthly.

• Roger the Alien : Goodnight, you Princes of Ham, you Kings of... Ham.

• Roger the Alien : Does liking horses sound boring?

• Stan Smith : I'm getting incredibly tired of this orgasm.

• Stan Smith : I sure can Pump when I'm full of Ham!

• Roger the Alien : Get a load of this Ham, Stan!

  Stan Smith : That's the Ham!

• Stan Smith : Next year I'll get you to hypnotize my Penis!

• Roger the Alien : I now pronounce you man-fish and wife.

• Roger the Alien : There we are, Hanging Chad. Remember that? From one of the Elections or something?

• Stan Smith : [fly-fishing, tangled up] Oooh! I got one! Did it hurt your balls when you pulled your one in, Francine?

• Stan Smith : Roger, I need your help!

  Roger the Alien : Sorry, Stan, I'm a duck today. Got a lot of duck-related responsibilities.

• Jeff Fischer : Mr S, can I talk to you about something?

  Stan Smith : Not if I turn on the radio!

• Roger the Alien : Glowstick Dance! Dave, look at me! Our years of Research have finally paid off!

• Stan Smith : Go for the Stanimal!

• Francine Smith : DAMN YOU COCONUT!

  Stan Smith : Is it even worth it anymore? The Carnage? The shattered lives?

  Roger the Alien : We all remember how happy that woman looked drinking out of that Coconut, don't we? So, we'll have to think outside the box.

• Roger the Alien : Stan, are you trying to kill yourself or thrill yourself?

• Roger the Alien : I'm Dr Penguin's Twin Brother by Marriage, Dr Buttblast.

• Roger the Alien : Enough! For now I seek to repose dreamwards, as hardcore Porn blasts on my Samsung Galaxy 9 Plus.

• Roger the Alien : I can't die! Not before Shatner!

• Stan Smith : Jeff, why do you only open your mouth to shit on my dreams?

• Roger the Alien : So you're like an Asylum Guard but with a conscience? You're trying to help us escape or what?

• Stan Smith : This is disgusting, there are Hospital amounts of blood and vomit. Where's the Hollywood glamour?

• Roger the Alien : Rouge can make a guy do crazy things, Steve.

• Roger the Alien : Who ever heard... of a Sad Clown?

• Gay Neighbour : My Mother ran away before I was born.

  Stan Smith : How... . how did she do that?

• Stan Smith : The pain is 100 Tiffany's Boyfriends!

• Stan Smith : To understand the World is to control it!

• Roger the Alien : Are you going to help Hayley out of that Cult?

  Francine Smith : No, she has to get herself out, because...

  Roger the Alien : Benevolent Neglect!

• Stan Smith : You know I only read books I've already read!

• Roger the Alien : God's a He, and He's White.

• Roger the Alien : What's up, my Ninjas?

• Roger the Alien : [Tumescent] Well, on ya catch the side-flip!

  [Faints]

• Roger the Alien : Lightshow!

  [Dancing]

  Roger the Alien : I took a Pill in Ibeeeez-ARGH!

  [Cuts head on Security Laser]

  Roger the Alien : Stan! Lookit!

• Stan Smith : [Crying in his hotel room, can't decide which socks to wear]

• Stan Smith : [Pathetic Excuse] You know how you never learned what Lacrosse is? Well, this is it! This is Lacrosse!

• Roger the Alien : [Smeagol] We shall lead them through the Tunnel to the Ujenderberger! They goes in but they don'ts comes out!

• Roger the Alien : You Nazi Walrus Bastard!

• Stan Smith : Son, every day with you is a kick in the nads.

• Roger the Alien : I miss my little bro-bro! I was going to teach him stuff!

• Roger the Alien : I want a toy helicopter that breaks the first time I play with it!

• Stan Smith : I forgot to measure the Pickle. My one mistake.

• Roger the Alien : I'm going to sit here and stare out over the lake thinking about how I nearly killed a baby.

• Fraulein : I'm going to throw you in the Cellar with the British Tourist Girls!

  Roger the Alien : Oh God! They're so horny!

• Avery Bullock : Why do you have a fork in here?

  Stan Smith : It's not a pretty story, Sir.

  Avery Bullock : Withdrawn!

• Stan Smith : Do you know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning before I remember who I am.

• Stan Smith : A World without Children? Future Generations will thank us!

• Hideki : And this is the Triangle Room!

  Stan Smith : But you have a Triangular Room! Why don't you put your Triangles in there?

• Roger the Alien : Come on, now, let's go and Paint the Town! And all that Ham!

• Roger the Alien : Apres moi Le Deluge!

• Stan Smith : When I joined the CIA I knew the deal: we made a mistake, we covered it up.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397306/characters/nm0532235

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